What is self-love?
Self love can mean a lot of different things for different people. Here’s a broad definition that everyone can identify with. Self love: Being in love with every part of yourself. Taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Not settling for less than you deserve. How often do you do this? I don’t know about you but I don’t do it enough! I’m ready for this to change and if you are too, keep reading!
You deserve the same love you give to everyone else! Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support psychological, physical, and spiritual growth. When it comes to self-love there are no sacrifices. Every step you take to improve your self-love is for you and you can’t let anyone take that from you. And let’s be clear, self-love and self-care are NOT the same thing. Self-care is all of the things we do to keep ourselves healthy and well maintained. Some examples include taking a bath, drinking enough water, and doing the things we love such as a spa day. Self care can also be a detox from certain things such as social media or what type of music you listen to. When you’re feeling down or not like yourself, ask yourself this question: “What can I do right now or in the near future to feel loved by myself?”. You can even take it a step further and journal about it. It does not have to be long or drawn out, it can be as simple as a word or a sentence. Remember to trust your instinct, because no one knows you better than you know yourself and be aware that you won’t always like what your instinct tells you to do.
Tips to improve self-love?
- Recognize each and every feeling, you have to be aware of yourself. When something is off, take a moment and think about how you feel and feel it. Don’t ignore yourself, it doesn't help. Figure out the “why”. Why are you mad, sad, angry, etc. You also have to be very mindful because the goal is to SHIFT from the negative space you are in into a positive space. It won't be easy at first but with practice you'll get better.
- Accept how you are feeling. Once you feel your emotions and understand your emotions it'll be easier to accept those emotions. Take a moment and write about those emotions even if you throw the paper away afterwards. Or go for a walk so that you have time to process those emotions.
- Switch Perspectives. Put yourself in an outsider's shoes. If you experienced a loved one feeling exactly how you are feeling at that moment how would you feel? How would you encourage them? Now take that and apply it to yourself. Unfortunately, we tend to treat others extremely differently than we would ourselves. We would be very positive and encouraging with them, but beat ourselves up for feeling this way. You have to be just as kind and loving to ourselves.
- It’s time to forgive yourself. Work through and figure out what it will take to forgive yourself. Then do it. If you have to create action action steps so that you don’t take any steps too big too fast. Whatever you have to do to make it right in your own eyes. Use affirmations, positive self-talk, write a letter to yourself, etc. but take the step toward forgiveness.
- It’s time to start saying no. It’s important to set boundaries and stick to those boundaries. You also have to make time for yourself and if that means telling others no then so be it. You have to love yourself enough to make the right decision. Self-love isn't a one-time act. You have to always love you and put you first. Invest in yourself and constantly put in the work to promote self love in you.